Tuesday, August 25, 2015


Hello blog,

It has been a while.   Life is busy.  So let me share a few random blurbs with you.

Sutter was our name if it was a boy or a girl but now I can't picture Sutter being anything but a girl name.  Sweet Sutter Grace.

Why haven't I been blogging?  I'm not sure.  On one hand, a lot of bloggers I used to love are becoming so marketed. Robotic.   And I don't want to be like that.  I want to be real.  But at the same time I want to protect my kiddos.   I don't want people to decide they are bad seeds because we are going through a rough patch.  I also don't want anyone to think I have it all together because I don't.  I have some areas together but I am a complete mess in others.   So I am trying to figure out what blogging looks like these days.  And also I don't want to be judged which is so ironic because if I am being truthful, I struggle with being judgmental.  It isn't something I am proud of, it is something God is definitely working on in my life. A lot of times by showing me how my judgmental ways affect others.  I am thankful that He still finds me in need of refining.  

Lately I have been struggling big time with motherhood.  I am lost in it, drowning, sinking.  I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am an introvert living in a house full of people and rarely get time to myself to recharge which is such a vital thing for me.   I also am feeling like I have nothing for myself.   It hasn't been easy.  I am thankful for a husband who gets me and pushes me to find myself again.   I am thankful for a God who comforts my soul.   I finally feel like I am getting back to normal.

School started this week for Jeremy and that means it's back to crazy town for us.  But something I wasn't going to share and then decided to share is I also started school this week.   In the midst of being lost in motherhood, Jeremy enrolled me in school.  He saw that I was drowning and needing something for myself so he told me to do something for myself.  I am taking 2 classes.  I am terrified.  I am extremely excited. I keep asking myself how I am going to have time to do everything.  Now I need to go buy a magnifying glass to read the text in my design book.   

Social media.  I am finding it less of a daily necessity.  Yes I enjoy getting on there and posting picture updates but I also find I am enjoying it less and less.  I want more real life.  And books.  I think my library hold list is at 30 something right now with 23 books checked out.   I need to get the kids their own cards so I have more space on mine.

I finally got all of our curriculum in and now I am going through the tedious process of scheduling it all out.  Maybe I will get to a post about that soon.  Maybe not.  I still haven't even posted about why we made the switch mid year last year.  In my defense I had it all typed up and ready to publish about 2 days before Sutter was born and then boom we had a baby.  I went to edit it last week and accidentally deleted it.

This book was awesome.  I loved it.  I don't know what more to say to convince you to go read it but seriously amazing.  I loved it so much that when I finished the library's copy, I went and bought my own.  I think I shared over half the book with Jeremy by either reading it aloud to him or sending him text messages of it while he was at work.

Another really good read.  I  liked how the author encouraged you to give your children a sense of purpose.  I fell this is really lacking in our society today.  

This is hard.   I never thought I would be so broken hearted about one of our pets dying.  Last Sunday Bo passed away.  Look at my little guy.  Wasn't he precious.   It was a really hard week.  Fuss cried most of it, we were all emotional.  I was beating myself up.    This week has been a little easier.  Less crying.   Today Eldon brought me a dandelion because he forgot Bo died.  I cried. He loved dandelions.  The kids really want to get another tortoise but that isn't so easy, the only reason we had him was because a cat or a bird dropped him in our drive way.    So we are praying.  I am sad he is gone but I am thankful God blessed us with him for a year.  

And that is that.  This post took you every which way.

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