Tuesday, May 26, 2015

End of the Year, Preschool Edition



How is it even possible that the school year has come to an end?  Eldon's first year of preschool was wonderful.  His teachers were fabulous.  We couldn't have asked for better teachers, they were loving yet strict.


I can see so many differences yet he is still my little boy.  Side note, I love these sandals so much last summer that I bought him a bigger pair this summer.

I forgot to write it on the sign but he say he wants to be a Daddy when he grows up.

Monday, May 25, 2015

A holiday weekend

Button up//Forever 21
Top//Target
Jeans//Ross
Shoes//Toms

I totally planned to wear my lace shorts with this outfit but it was like 80 that day and that is way to cold for me to put on shorts, I am glad it forced me to pull out my white pants.  How I missed these while I was pregnant.

Cleaning out my closet, easy pea-sy... Cleaning out my earring collection is like trying to get rid of one or my kids.

I had a capsule wardrobe before it was cool probably because I find something I like and buy it in every color that works well with my skin tone. But I find that I want change out my favorite pieces for higher quality pieces that are going to last more than a few washes. Thank goodness for places like Twice and Thred up.

Potty training.... Day 1; horrific. I am the complete opposite of a helicopter parent, so to be a helicopter parent drives me nuts. Day 2; 3 accidents and a poop success. 1 accident was because the big kids didn't put the potty seat or stool back when they were done doing their business. Another one was when we were all hanging out in the back yard playing catch and didn't make it too the potty quick enough. Day 3; was going great until we decided to go swimming at a friends house. Stink kept saying she had to pee and then would go back to playing. A poop accident later, we should have gone when she said she had to pee.

Night one of Sutter moving to Eldon's room, giant failure and resulted in her sleeping in the swing. Night 2 was almost a failure until I put her more in the corner of the crib. I don't think she liked the bigness of the crib because as soon as I re-positioned her, she fell right to sleep for 11 glorious hours. Night 3, she went down without any kind of fuss tonight, hopefully she sleeps just as well.

Friday we went and took care of Sutter's social security stuff and I have to say, I don't really like being treated like an illegal resident just because we chose to have a home birth. I was not impressed at all.


We did our fit test for insanity, I lost 1 3/4 inches! I was hoping for more but I will take it. We aren't weighing in until the 30 day mark.



Does Jeremy really have to go back to work tomorrow? At least he starts summer hours this week and will be home before the kiddos wake up from their naps.


Pray that my first day of solo potty training goes smoothly.

This little girl has stolen my heart.  I am obsessed with her.

A rare picture of all 3 of them smiling and looking at the camera.  A framer even if Fuss is a little blurry.



Sutter was absolutely spoiled this weekend, most of her naps she slept on Jeremy or me.

They both look so grown up here.  In just a little over a month Stink with be 2 and then Fuss will be 6 just 6 short weeks after that.  Time goes a little to fast.  

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Our weekend and a few instagrams

We had such a wonderful weekend.   Jeremy cleaned off the top of the fridge, I cleaned out the fridge, and we purged the kiddos toys.   Aw... the joys of adult hood.  But it did feel really good to get a few of the things on my long term to-do list taken care of.  This weekend I have big exciting plans to scrub the kitchen from top to bottom.

Tomorrow is the last day of preschool for Eldon.  It is hard to believe his school year is already over.  Bristol's not so much.  We have 20 lessons left and I made the executive decision to double up on the lessons so we will be done in 2 1/2 weeks instead of 5 weeks.  It is really hard to keep Bristol focused on school work when Eldon is home.  

I thought about doing a day in the life post but it would go something like this... feed Sutter, make the big kids breakfast, feed Sutter, make the big kids lunch, feed Sutter, make everyone dinner, feed Sutter, and somewhere in there do a million loads of laundry well more like 2, clean, and work out.    You get the point, I am pretty much feeding kids all day long.  

We are getting ready to move the kiddos rooms around.  Brighton is going in with Bristol, Sutter in with Eldon.  Any tips for getting Bristol to actually sleep?  That kid is just like Jeremy and survives off of 4 hours of sleep.  There used to be a day when she slept 12/13 hours each night.   

All 3 girls have worn this outfit, it is one of my favorites.  Although Sutter is the only one who wears the pants as capris.  

A massive blow out 10 minutes after bed time resulted in another bath.  The face, flashbacks to her birth?
This recipe was so good.  We will definitely be making it again.

I love watching her sleep.  The biggest down side to our busy days, not getting to hold her and stare at her all the time.

Sutter likes to charm Jeremy every night right around the time she should be going to bed.

Food?  Who has time to eat, I want to smile and be cute.   I think I shall eat in about 5 minutes.  When you are trying to get Eldon to school...   And you know what, I was okay with it because she slept 11 hours last night and it was wonderful.  

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Red Lips


Top//Kohls
Shirt Extender//GroopDealz
Leggings//Costco
Shoes//Jessica Simpson

Random thoughts on my brain this Wednesday, well now it is Sunday, so,.. random thoughts on my brain this Sunday evening....

I finally wrote part 2 of Sutter's birth story.  

Why oh why did I agree to do Insanity?  Oh right, those pesky baby weight pounds that I want off.  Well more the extreme excess of skin around my middle that I want to say goodbye too.  I really don't care about the number on the scale but more how my clothes fit and they aren't fitting well at all.  Let's not even talk about the bathing suit situation. 60 day program and I already survived a week.

Back to cleaning eating makes my stomach so happy.   I missed it a lot while I was pregnant but I couldn't muster up an appetite and pretty much lived off of anything that was super bland which clean meals are most definitely not. I committed to it 2 weeks ago and with the exception of a few treats like making cookies with the kids and eating highly processed but oh so delicious nacho cheese at a birthday party, I have stuck to it.  Now I am craving fruits and vegetables instead of chocolate and baked goods.  Well I still crave chocolate because hello! its chocolate.  

Tuesday was Jeremy's last night of school this semester.  Wednesday night instead of getting out of the house on my own like I planned, I laid on the couch trying to sleep off a migraine but I am thankful Jeremy was home to step in and deal with dinner and the kiddos.  I did end up getting out Thursday night and he kept the kids and bathed them.  Talk about super dad.  Bath nights were the worst this school semester.  

Moving. It is no secret that we want out of Ridgecrest. We want to live somewhere with more opportunities for the kids, where we can enjoy nature without having to watch for rattlesnakes, where it doesn't get into the triple digit degrees 10 months out of the year but those are all things Jeremy and I want. We are praying about what God wants from us and for us. And sometimes it's hard waiting on His timing. You would think I would be better about it after having to wait 6 extra days for Miss Sutter but I am not.  And one of the things that makes it super hard is Eldon's allergies.  The wind and dust are in full swing here which means Eldon has been sick all month.  But there are also the positives of this winter and spring, the cool amount of rain we got turned the desert a beautiful color and the cloudy skies that have meant cooler than usual temperatures for this May.

My feet got wider this pregnancy, these ballet flats, no longer comfortable.  My running shoes are bruising  my toes.  Please tell me this will be short lived.  I don't have a lot of shoes but I do love the ones I have.  I don't want replace them.   Please feet, go back to your normal size.

I am on team Joshua for the voice. I know you didn't ask but I really like his voice. Followed closely by Sawyer and Megan.  

I am really enjoying playing around with fun lipstick colors.  I never thought I could pull of a red lip but I think it doesn't look too bad.

And that's if for this this Sunday night, now I am going to run away so Jeremy doesn't make me do another night of Insanity.  Kidding, slightly, not really.

linking up with The Pleated Poppy

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Sutter's Birth Story Part 2

part 1 here...

I left off that I had texted Megan around 4:45 and she said she would be there around 5.  I was feeling like I couldn't keep doing this start and stop thing so I need to make a game plan of how to handle it.

Well in the 15 minutes we were waiting for Megan things changed a lot.  I could no longer sit down and the contractions started coming right on top of each other.  To distract me Jeremy turned on a "how its made" type show that was completely boring yet fascinating at the same time.   In between contractions I would lean/squat against my sewing desk with edge pressing into my lower back and as soon as I would feel a contraction coming on I would turn around and use it for leverage while Jeremy pushed insanely hard on my lower back pressure points.  I am pretty sure I had a bruise the next day but it was so helpful and brought me so much relief.

5:05 pm... Megan and her assistant Becky walked in with their labor inducing herbs and oils.   I was seriously excited to see them.  At this point I was in serious denial that it was actually going to happen.  They observed like 2 contractions and the told us they were going to put their stuff away and start bringing in all the delivery stuff.  I remember asking if they really wanted to do that since it was going to stop any moment and I just wanted to make a pain management plan.  Told ya, denial.

5:45 pm...  I can honestly say at this point, I still really didn't think we were having a baby anytime soon but the contractions were getting pretty rough but not as bad as I thought they need to be. So when Megan said it was time to fill up the pool I was beyond relived.  I had been telling myself through the whole pregnancy I needed to last long enough to just get in the pool and it would get easier from there and it would also mean it we were close to the end.

6 pm...  I had just gone to the bathroom and told Jeremy I hoped the pool was going to be ready soon because I needed a break.  It wasn't horrible pain but it was constant at this point and I could just use a moment or two break.

As soon as I got in the pool I felt immediate relief.  I was still having contractions but the warm water was so soothing to my body.  I got about a 15 minute break from the pain, it was just what I needed to regroup.  There was some laughing and joking going on. Megan, Becky, and Jeremy kept forcing lovingly giving me water to keep me hydrated.   The pool was so amazing. I can't say enough positive things about that thing.  It was exactly like having an epidural, no pain but I could still tell the contractions were happening.



6:30 pm... My contractions started getting painful again.  I could feel Sutter descending more and more and I could also feel my water trying to break.  With Bristol my water broke when I got up off the couch but I didn't feel it actually break, with Eldon the doctor broke it and I could feel him immediately move down.  With Brighton the doctor broke it as well but I never actually felt anything so this time I wasn't really sure what to expect.  To be honest it was pretty uncomfortable.   But I still figured we had a ways to go because I wasn't to that point where I wanted to give up and go to the hospital and I had been warned that I had to get to that point.

6:45 pm.. My water broke, more like burst, it was one of the weirdest things I had every felt.  At this point my body started pushing on it's own which was another completely different experience. This is when I finally got on the whole having a baby train.

7:00 pm...  Her head came out.   It was horrible, I blocked this part out a lot, but Jeremy told me I was saying "it hurts" over and over again. With a water birth, the baby isn't touched until he/she is fully out so that the baby doesn't start breathing.  It is a very nerve wracking experience for the dad.  For me this is the point when I really wanted to be done and didn't want to do it anymore.  Sutter's shoulders where "sticky" and it was painful.  This was when I actually asked for my birth playlist.  I asked Jeremy to put on Give Me Jesus because I was done.  I couldn't do it on my own anymore.  I was tired, extremely hot, and even though I could see my babies head, half of her was still in me and I didn't want to keep going. I remember asking Megan if she could just pull her out the rest of the way.  Jeremy started praying for me, between his prayer and the song I felt a total peace come over me.  I felt empowered, ready to finish this. I looked down, something I swore I would never do, hoping that seeing the progress being made would make it easier. Once more push, and a little help from Megan, and Sutter was out.


7:04 pm... They put this beautiful baby on my chest.  I didn't want to let her go.  In the past I have been so weak from not eating that by the time we get to this point I could barely hold up my arms and Jeremy usually ended up holding the baby for a long time but with Sutter, all I wanted to do was hold her and never let go.  She was so perfect.  And we didn't even know if she was a boy or a girl because I was too busy holding her.

7:10 pm... I was bleeding more than expected so I had to hand Sutter off to Jeremy so Megan and Becky  could get me out of the pool to make sure everything was okay which it was.   I tore a little bit so Megan took care of that.

Then came all the formal stuff, checking over Sutter... I was so surprised when they told me she was 9 pounds 1 ounce.  I couldn't believe I had my first natural birth and the baby was 9 POUNDS.

This whole experience as more than I could ask for.  Megan and Becky, they listened to Jeremy and my wishes for a relaxed, stress free birth.   They gave Jeremy all the tools he needed to support me and get me through this.  I knew I would lean heavily on him during the whole thing and they were there to guide him.

Jeremy.  He is a saint.   He put up with my crazy emotional attitude all morning when my labor kept starting and stopping.  He didn't give up hope but he let me vent.   He held my hand, pushed my pressure points, held on to me, prayed for me, and kept me well fed with waffles and smoothies through the whole process.  From the day I told him I wanted to try a home birth, he never complained or doubted me, he just said "okay".   I could have never done this without him.   The last week of my pregnancy was an emotional roller coaster and he rode it without any complaints.

I still find it hard to believe I made it through my first natural birth and did it at home.  I do know, I would have never been able to do it in the hospital.  At home, I was able to move around freely, there weren't people asking me a million questions, and I could leave the room without permission.  Until the actual delivery part, Megan and Becky stayed in the background and let Jeremy take care of me.  Not something I would have been able to do in the hospital.  Megan asked me if I would ever go back to a medicated, hospital birth and I say without a doubt no.  Its amazing how much faster my recovery has been this time, I didn't have any of the usual issues I have had in the past.  Most days, I forget I just had a baby, until she of course starts yelling at me to eat because those rolls of hers are hard to maintain.

And there you have it.  Sutter's birth story.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Random thoughts for this Wednesday


Cardigan// Old Navy
Top//Target
Jeans//Marshalls
Shoes//Target

My kids will eat the weirdest things like key lime yogurt. YUCK! but I am so thankful. I am a pretty picky eater but we are raising them different because over the last 10 years there have been many things that I thought I didn't like only to find out I love them.

Pants that fit are a must have for my postpartum body. Yes it sucks buying jeans that are 2 sizes bigger than my pre-pregnancy size but it does make me feel better about myself when I can zip and button my pants without any overhang.

I have been horrible about doing my quiet time this week. Getting the flu Saturday and recovering Sunday and Monday has really thrown off my week.

My black coffee was amazing this morning. I have been craving black coffee for so long but I couldn't stomach it while I was pregnant. 5 weeks after Miss Sutter was born I finally brewed myself a cup. I am embarrassed to admit I forgot how to use the regular coffee maker.

I am having a hard time writing the second part of Sutter's birth story. It sounds so impersonal and it was anything but,  It was such an amazing experience and I want my retelling of it to convey that.  Hopefully I can get it right over the next few days.

So far, being that we are only 5 weeks into this 4 kid gig, I feel like 3 to 4 was a much easier transition for our family than 2 to 3. Hopefully it stays this way.

Now I am going to undo my wonderful day of clean eating by chowing down on my pint of New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

One Month...









Sutter Grace you remind me so much of your big brother. Your legs and arms are so long and skinny. Those feet! They are the first thing people notice.

You have fit right in, like you have always been a part of this family.  I can't remember what it was like without you.

Most nights you sleep an 8 hour stretch and then a 4/5 hour stretch. It usually is in your bassinet but some nights if you are having a hard time falling asleep I bring the swing in the room because mama is spoiled and likes her sleep.

You are so loved by your older 3. They get mad when they can't hold you. Brighton seems most impressed by you.  But you brother, he is your big protector, always looking out for you.

As long as you aren't hungry you are content to just be. But boy when you are hungry nothing is making you happy but food.

You take a bottle best from daddy and he loves being able to feed you.

When daddy is holding you, you scrunch up into this tiny little ball on his chest.  It is so adorable.  

You gained 1 1/2 pounds this much, such a little chunk.

You are my sweet blessing, God's reminder of the grace He has given us especially over these last few months.  Which is why daddy pushed so hard for your middle name to be Grace.  A daily reminder.

Friday, May 1, 2015

Sutter's Birth Story Part 1

Oh Sutter Grace.  The wait almost killed me.  It tested my faith.  It exhausted my patience.   It was rough.   40 weeks and 6 days.   6 days over due...not horribly late... perfectly normal for some but this was my 4th time.  I wasn't supposed to go over due for the first time with my 4th child.   But God and Sutter had other plans.   

Those last 5 days before I went into labor were a roller coaster... fueled by lack of sleep.   It wasn't pretty and I am sure Jeremy was wishing I would forget his phone number.  Thankfully I had my birth playlist prepared and that seriously got me through along with a lot of prayer and a lot of complaining to Jeremy.   Give Me Jesus, I Surrender, Lord, I Need You and He Knows were wonderful.It is so funny to me, I had this awesome playlist all ready for labor and I didn't use it but it was used a lot during those last 2 weeks leading up to Sutter's birth.  

I thought once I went into labor that would be it, I would finally get off this crazy emotional rollercoster but it didn't work out that way....

Monday morning I woke up around 4:45am with contractions which made me incredibly happy.  My first of this whole pregnancy.   The midwife had stripped my membranes Friday but I was discouraged.  While I was 4/5 centimeters dilated, I was only 20% effaced, I figured I would make it to the 42 week mark and would be headed to the hospital for induction (ever the optimist), so imagine my surprise when I woke up with contractions every 7-8 minutes apart.   At 5:30 Jeremy woke up to get ready for work and I told him I didn't think he would be going in that day.   I had him call his mom to come get the kids while I texted Megan, our midwife, to let her know what was going on. My hope was that by the time the kids were walking out the door Megan would be walking in to deliver the baby.    I went about my business getting the kiddos ready to leave... I had refused to unpack their suitcase when we got back Saturday so all I really needed to do was add hair and teeth stuff.  Jeremy's mom showed up sometime around 8:30 and the kids headed off.  Funny story, it took a while to get a hold of her.  We called several times and even tried facetiming her on the iPad.   She had forgotten to take her phone of vibrate the night before.

9am... I was having a hard time getting comfortable so I decided to try laying on my side on the couch to see if I could get comfortable.  Jeremy started airing up the birth pool as well as laying out the supplies.   I may have fallen asleep.

10am... I woke up and my contractions had stopped.  Oh boy, was I pissed.   Jeremy tried to stay positive but I wasn't having it.   He offered to go for a walk with me but I wasn't really in the mood to walk around our neighborhood and look at tumbleweeds.   So I told him to just keep working on his homework.   Since I wasn't having a baby that day, I would just clean and later after he was done we would go pick up the kids.   I proceed to pack up all the birth supplies, Jeremy refused to let me take down the birth pool because it was so much work getting it aired up with our horrible pump.

I look so thrilled

Noon... I really wanted a shredded beef taco for lunch but didn't feel like leaving the house.  Jeremy offered to go get it for me but we ended up making sandwiches.   My contractions started back up about this time which really mad me mad and annoyed.  This time I was having a lot of bloody show.

2 pm...  I was still having regular contractions but they weren't getting any closer together and since I was in a permanent annoyed state, I decided to take a nap.  I hadn't slept all weekend so I figured I would sleep a little before the big 3 came back.

4:30pm...  I woke up with very intense contractions.  I was at the point of giving up because I couldn't keep doing this start stop thing.  It was messing with my head big time.  After talking it over with Jeremy he suggested texting Megen to have her come over so we could make a game plan so I could survive what was sure to be a very, very long labor.  She promised to be there by 5 pm....



And that is where I am going to leave it because I want to get this written before she is 4 but she is waking up so its time to leave you for today.

part 2 here...
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