Thursday, January 29, 2015

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Today//5, 4, and 18 months

6:10am...Ugh... I am late waking up. Thankfully Jeremy texted me or who knows how late I would have slept. Usually I get up at 5 with him but this morning he went to the gym before work so he was up at 4. I remember my alarm going off and then I reset it for 5:45 but I just checked and I never hit set. Whoops. Time to jump in the shower. Thankfully my hair doesn't need washing which means I shouldn't be too late starting my morning.

One nice thing about my closet, I only buy stuff that doesn't require a whole lot of thought. Today I go with my favorite maternity tank top, leggings from Costco, and a denim shirt from Jeremy's side of the closet that I have claimed as my own. Add a cute pair of earrings and I don't feel so homely. Perfect outfit for a day of scrubbing the house and taxi driving. Before we walk out the door I will take off my slippers...maybe.  one day I may buy a full sized mirror... one day...

6:49am... I make it out to the kitchen, time to start my tea and breakfast before I go get the kids read for the day, Bristol has been up and playing in her room since I woke up and I have been hearing Brighton yell "Eldon" every couple of minutes since I got out of the shower.  Last night I made up my waffle batter so all I need to do this morning is turn on the waffle iron and cook a few up.

We finally make it out to the car by 7:47am which is a little later than I like but at least we will still be on time for school. I make Bristol do drop off this morning because I don't feel like carrying Brighton all the way in and out of the school. We get to Eldon's school at 8:07am which means we get to hang out in the car until I can drop him off at 8:25am.

8:40am... We are home and it is time for me to do my quiet time.  I finished up my bible study on 1&2 Peter yesterday, today I am going to start Hosea.  The description and 1st lesson lead me to believe this is going to be a hard but powerful study. After I finish my study, I hang out with Brighton and drink my tea.

9:30am... I put Brighton down for her morning nap and start working on my to do list.  I don't know how I am going to clean when she gives up her morning nap.

I take a 5 minute break around 1030 to eat. Not because I am hungry but because I know I should. I also finish off my tea. Only an 1 1/2 hours till coffee time.

11:10am... my alarm is going off telling it's time to go pick up Eldon. Brighton has been up for a few minutes letting me know she would like it if I would come get her. I got quite a bit done on my to do list.... the kitchen, bathrooms, the living room picked up and I finished stripping the couch and chairs so I could throw the covers in the wash.

12:30pm... I vacuumed up the living room as soon as we got home before Eldon could drag out all his toys. We are sitting down for lunch and COFFEE. It is much needed. I sit down for every meal with the kids. It has never crossed my mind to not eat at the same time as them.

1:30pm... I dragged out my latte as long as I could but if I want to get the rest of the house mopped and vacuumed before I pick up Bristol I need to do it. Exhaustion has set in.

2:15... 15 minutes before I leave to pick up Bristol. Today has been crazy busy. I have been running my washer non stop. Thankfully it is nicer outside which means I can hang the couch covers on the line instead of dry them.  Brighton is super fussy. She is having a hard time with Jeremy being back at work and school 4 nights a week. Thankfully we only have to last a little under 3 hours till he comes home for a quick dinner before heading back out the door.

3:10... We are back home from picking Bristol up and the kids are down for their naps/quiet time.  Mommy finally gets to relax.  A little reading and Gilmore Girls is on my to do list.  Maybe a few pieces of Dove milk chocolate.

4:45... Jeremy is home, Bristol wakes up and I start dinner.  I have him wake the little 2 up so they can spend a few precious minutes with him

5:25... We are sitting down for dinner.   

6:20... Jeremy leaves for school and I get to cleaning up the kitchen from our dinner.

7:08... I made it.  It wasn't an easy night. We have had a rough ones lately. That last hour between dinner and bedtime is hard for me. Normally Jeremy takes over but he is at school, we are all still adjusting too that.  We miss daddy when he isn't home.  I am going to work on this post, figure out how to pay to renew my domain, organize my pictures for the week and enjoy a little more Gilmore Girl's on Netflix.

9:00... Jeremy is home from school which means I can go to sleep.

I just looked to see when I last did a day in the life post and it was a year ago today. Checkout how small Brighton was.

Maternity// A Birthday Outfit

Cardigan//Old Navy

This is what I wore for Eldon's birthday party on Saturday.
I am wearing these earrings again today and truthfully I considered wearing the whole outfit again sans booties because they only lasted on my feet for about 30 minutes the day of the party before I had to take them off.  

I have about a million pairs of earrings but I have 3 favorites that I rotate most of the week. 

Do you know how ridiculously happy I am to have found a pair of faux leather leggings.  Jeremy doesn't love them but he says he doesn't hate them either.   Which just means I need to wear them everyday until he admits his love for them, right?  I saw a link up for these a few weeks back, since I had a Nordstroms gift card, I thought why the heck not.  They have free shipping both ways.    I probably should have done the responsible thing and bought the kids clothes but nope I bought these and I am so happy I did. 

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Baby #4 // 32 Weeks

Jeans//Wallflower Maternity via Thred UP

Week 32.  This is going a little fast.  I don't know if it was because of Jeremy being laid off for 6 weeks or just because we are usually so busy from September to March but this is just craziness how fast March is sneaking up on me.  I am sure the next 4 weeks will go by super fast as well and then I will get to 36 weeks and time will stand still like it usually does.  

I had a minor scare last week.  I think I mentioned it before but my midwife doesn't make you do the wonderful glucose drink for gestational diabetes testing.  Instead she offers you the option of not testing at all, doing the glucose drink, or you can do 7 finger pricks over 3 days.  I did the 7 finger prick option.  It isn't that I have anything against the glucose drink but with the big 2 I was given the drink at one appointment and told to drink it on the way to my next appointment.  I had to tell them when I drank it and then they drew my blood an hour later.  Easy.  Here they wont give you the drink, they expect you to go sit at the hospital for an hour. Yeah, that sounded like something I was willing to do with a Brighton.   Anyways, one of my finger pricks came back super high and just to be on the safe side the midwife asked if I would go get a follow up test.  Still no glucose drink, instead she ordered an A1C, which I guess looks at your cells over the past 3 months to see how they are handling sugar.  My test came back perfect.   PRAISE THE LORD.    Gestational diabetes would have meant having to transfer to an OB and delivering in the hospital which wouldn't have been the end of the world, but would have meant a trip out of town because I refuse to use the hospital and OB's here unless it is an emergency.  

Bowling when 32 weeks pregnant with a torn pelvic muscle, not my smartest idea but I beat my sister so the pain was worth it.  Although when I could still barely walk Monday, my victory wasn't as sweet.   We wont mention that I came in 3rd place out of 4, or that I think Bristol had a higher score than me on the kiddy lane.  

We yet again had another instance of someone telling us "oh #4, you are done having kids, right?" I am convinced if Sutter comes out a girl the new question will be "so when are you going to try for another boy?"  Most days it doesn't bother me but I am getting to the point where I am sick of hearing about the size of our family. So what if we want to have 4 kids or 12 kids for that matter when did it become okay for people to comment on it. Your not the one feeding them, clothing them, or heck trying to stay sane for 12 hours. I don't know if it is because I am getting to the later stages of my pregnancy but it is really bothering me and I am likely to chew out the next person who let's me know how inappropriate they feel it is to have 4 kids. When did a human life become a bad thing? 

I have my 32 week check up Friday.  This time next month I will be down to weekly visits.... how is this possible?   But it means we are getting closer to holding Sutter who still doesn't have a middle name if she comes out a girl.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

A Weekend Full of Family

We had the best weekend.  I loved it. Beautiful sun shining weather. A great birthday for Mr. Eldon My sister and her family are in California visiting from Italy for a few weeks and this week was my turn to see her.

This was our first time meeting Nathan since he entered the world in late September.   We were all a little excited to see him.   I figured I would be fighting Bristol for time with him but it was Brighton who insisted on holding him every time I had him.

We were excited to see Daphne again as well but for whatever reason I didn't take pictures of that. 

We did a little bowling Friday night.  I am sure everyone got a kick out of watching my 8 month pregnant self try to bowl.

Aren't Brighton's little bowling shoes the cutest thing ever?

See there is Daphne! 

Today we were on our own and took advantage of the beautiful 70 degree weather and hit up the park.  

A little sister love.  These 2 are getting along really well lately well except for when Brighton is yelling "No" at Bristol.

I was slightly jealous of Blondie, she got to stay in bed all morning.

Like I said, it was the perfect weekend.  Which we need to get us through this crazy busy week!  

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Eldon's Construction Theme 4th Birthday Party

I was having a hard time getting my act together for this party. I felt like I needed to do something for Eldon since we went all out for Bristol and Brighton's birthdays this year but I couldn't muster up the energy and I probably wouldn't have gone through with it if it wasn't for my sister visiting from Italy. She really wanted to celebrate Eldon's birthday will him since she was gone for year 2 and 3.   So I browsed Pinterest to inspire a few ideas.  Thankfully Amazon came through with the caution cones and hard hats, throw in Eldon's Bruder toy collection and a little caution tape and we were in business.

I am glad I found the motivation to pull this together even if I was still unsure of how it would all work out at 10pm last night.

Didn't Jeremy make an awesome cake?  Eldon saw it when I was looking for inspiration and daddy made it happen.  The dirt is crushed Vanilla Wafers and Oreos and Reece's Puff cereal for the rocks.

Thank you to Jeremy, Hilary, and Anthony for all your help pulling this together over the last 2 days.  Also thank you to my mom and mother in law for bringing food as well.  And everyone who came to celebrate our special little dude, thank you.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Let Go...

Jeremy goes back to work today. He has been laid off for the last 6 weeks.

2 weeks before Christmas at like 10 am Jeremy called to tell me he was on his way home from work and wouldn't be going back. I was devastated, frustrated, but mostly very angry with the situation. And my anger has been hard to deal with. It is something I am constantly asking God to take away.

He was sent home because paperwork had been screwed up and no one could fix it. Mostly because everyone had already left for Christmas vacation. Yet they could lay him off.

We prayed, asked God what we were supposed to do with this time, if Ridgecrest was still the place for us. Mostly we asked God to provide because we needed Him more than ever.

We were told that nothing would be resolved until the first week of January when everyone would be back to work

January 5th--Jeremy got a text message from the HR person to let us know that they had lost the contract. Then the question went from "when will this be fixed" to "will he even have a job to go back to once all the paperwork is fixed"

That Friday he met with the CEO of the company who had won the contract, he assured him yes there would be a job for him, his previous boss and co-workers only had positive things to say about him and really wanted him back.  They were working as fast as possible to get him back to work since this was such a screwed up situation.

We had done nothing wrong, his previous company didn't want to lay him off, and there was still no one who could get him back to work.  That day I struggled a lot.  They told us it could still take 2 weeks, which it did.  I am not proud of this but I started asking God why.  It felt like He was telling us that we needed to stay in Ridgecrest a little longer but He wasn't fixing things on my timeline.  I was also very angry again. I was sick of this wait-and-see game.

Today after 6 weeks home he goes back.

Truthfully I am happy and sad about it. Happy that we can start getting the little bit of stuff we need for Sutter, sad because I really enjoyed spending time with Jeremy and these last 6 weeks have been wonderful. It's been nice to be able to stick my head in the garage and say hi to him anytime I am in the laundry room. It has been wonderful sharing lunch together everyday. His and Eldon's relationship has grown so much over the last 6 weeks with Eldon spending every minute he isn't at school out in the garage or going on errands. Brighton has loved having her daddy home and is probably going to have the hardest time adjusting to him going back.

I am thankful that God gave us this time together because once he goes back to work there will be days where the kids wont even see him because of his current schedule.

I am still struggling with my anger at the whole deal but at the same time this bonus time with Jeremy has been a blessing. I have no clue why God let this happen but I do know it's taught me a few things...

While I did stress a little about where the money would come from to pay our bills, anger at the situation was my default emotion.

I buy way more crap than I need.  It is so easy to just add stuff to my Amazon Prime cart and hit buy, I don't need that.  I have had things sitting in my cart for 6 weeks that I realized, yes I can live without.  

I love spending time with Jeremy and never get sick of him. Having him home 24/7 was a seamless transition.  It was almost too comfortable.  I can't wait until we are retired. In the meantime I would love if he worked from home. 

When I say I trust God, I have to trust Him with everything. There were so many little things over this period of time that He would gently remind me "You trust Me with that, but Savanna, do you trust Me with this?" Those were hard words for me to hear.

I knew it before but this confirmed it for me... God does give you more than you can handle. Because I was never meant to go through this life without Him. He never gives me more than I can handle with His help. The only way we grow in our faith is to be stretched and tested. If He only gave me what I can handle I would never grow. But by giving me more than I can handle it requires me to trust fully and walk in faith every step of the way.

Why didn't we tell a whole lot of people about what was happening?  Mostly because talking about it took away the peace I had that God would take care of the situation.  I was already dealing with the anger I had towards the whole thing, I didn't need to add anything on top of that. 

Thank you to those who prayed for us of these last 6 weeks, the prayers were felt.

6 So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. 7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
1 Peter 1:6-7


 notice the baby opening Eldon's present

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Baby #4// 31 weeks

Sweater//Old Navy
Top//H&M Maternity
Jeans//WallFlower via Thred Up
Shoes//Jessica Simpson

This is my new favorite outfit to wear.  I said it last time I wore it but a year ago I would have never mixed black and camel together now I do it every chance I get.  

The transition from 3 to 4 isn't scaring me quiet as much as it did from 2 to 3. When I was pregnant with Brighton I was really concerned how Eldon would handle adding another kiddo to the lot. He was such a mama's boy and I didn't want him to feel replaced. But Brighton came and Eldon handled it with his laid back coolness that he does every new situation. Brighton, well she is a wild card. I hope she handles it well but I don't have much hope for it so I am just expecting the worst. Positivity people, that's what I am all about.

Birth class. I was a bit nervous about this and I was afraid I was going to be a little disturbed by it. I know I am in the minority but I don't think labor is a beautiful thing. I think it's gross, exhausting, and unpredictable but the baby at the end makes it all worth it. So the thought of having to listen to a whole class on the beauty of birth was the last thing I wanted to do. But it wasn't like that at all. Our Bradley teacher also happens to be our midwife birth assistant. So we see her every time we see the midwife. We are doing private lessons with her since this is our 4th time around and we don't need the whole "this is birth" part of the class.  I am feeling so at peace with our decision to do this home birth.  I know it isn't going to be easy but the lack of having to stress about if my doctor and nurses are competent will make this a much better experience than Brighton's birth.  

Fact, I have never had a birth plan.   I know me, if I get something stuck in my head on how it is going to work, I freak out the minute something gets off schedule.   For me to be able to relax during labor and let the baby do its thing, I have to give up control.  It worked so well with Bristol and Eldon, I slept through the labor.   Other than having a home birth, hopefully in water, I am going with the flow.  I have complete trust in my midwife, birth assistant, and Jeremy to take care of me, to guide me, and to help me through the rough parts.   But even more than that, God knows my fears about going back to the local hospital, even if the worst happens I have complete trust in Him to get me through it.

And now a little comparison of all 4 kids at 31 weeks.  I certainly think I am the "smallest" this time around looking at these pictures but I am definitely not feeling "small"

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