Wednesday, December 31, 2014

kind of New Years Resolution for 2015

She Reads Truth bible study

I really don't have a resolution this year.  My goal on the other hand is to trust in God more.   These last few weeks have been rough and it has required our complete dependance on God but they have also been so freeing.  He is taking such good care of us.   It has been nice that when things start stressing me out I can just give it to Him and know that He will provide.  And while I would love for some of the unanswered questions to be answered, I am enjoying just waiting.  Waiting to hear exactly what God wants us to do.   Because of the circumstances of what is going on, we know this is from God.    I told Jeremy last night that I am thankful He is putting us through this trial.   It means He is refining us and is using this for His glory.   I am also very thankful that I am remembering to praise Him during the difficult times.  Usually I am just leaning so heavy on Him to help me survive that I forget the whole praise part.   

With everything that is going on, I feel this will be a year of a lot of change for our family.  By trusting in Him, it will still be scary and stressful at times but He will never give me more than I can handle with His help.  I fully believe God gives me more than I can handle by myself because I was never meant to go through this life on my own.  I am made to depend on Him.   So that is my goal for 2015.... Trust in Him through it all because yes it is going to be more than Jeremy and I can handle at times but it is never going to be more than Jeremy and I can handle with God.  

I also should say that there have been many times over the last 3 weeks where I have started to drown in our circumstances; but praying, reading my bible and talking to Jeremy has made those moments short lived.  I think as long as I am on this side of heaven I will always be subject to doubt because I am human and God knows that but I am striving to be more like Jesus. 

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Baby#4// 28 weeks

Plaid Top//Old Navy
Strip Shirt//H&M Maternity
Jeans//J Jeans Maternity

Sutter. That is the name we have landed on for peanut. Why am I sharing it when we usually keep it to ourselves? Well because Bristol has pretty much told everyone and their brother that is the baby's name already. I wanted to be the first to tell at least 1 person. No, we still don't know the gender of the baby.  Sutter was originally just our boy name option and we had another one picked out for a girl but the more and the more we talked about it we really wanted to name this baby Sutter either way.   Now if we could just agree on a middle name if its a girl. 

Pregnancy update; since this is what this post is about.    I am not doing so hot.  Sutter is sitting super low and it is causing a lot of pain.   Some days I get to the point where I can't walk, like last night.  Jeremy ended up making dinner and putting the kids to bed while I laid on the couch.   Also as a cruel joke, I sleep best between 5am and 6am which is when my alarm is going off.   The rest of the night, not so much.  I think I am going to order a sleep blend of essential oils to diffuse at night because me and the lavender don't get along.  It makes me sleep worse.  I am also very thankful that I had 25-26 weeks of feeling really good well except those first 9 weeks.   So if these last 12 weeks are miserable I can live with it.   I can do anything for 12 weeks.  Hear that Sutter? 12 weeks, not a day more.   Only 9 more weeks would be fine with me. 

How about a vague little life update... nothing has been resolved but God is showing us that by trusting in Him, He will take care of it all. It's kind of ironic that I just started a bible study on Peter because I am definitely feeling a kinship with him right now.

Do you want to know how many winter storm warnings my phone has received in the last 2 days? At least 30. All because of a 50% chance of 2 inches of snow. You would think we were getting 2 feet of snow. And yet this morning the skies are clear.  For my kids sake, I do hope we get a little bit of snow but the town is about to declare a state of emergency for the slightest possibility there may be 2 inches of snow. 

Also here is a link to last weeks post, I totally forgot to share it with the Christmas rush and all.  

Monday, December 29, 2014

Monday Randomness

I am thankful Eldon's birthday is in a few weeks, Jeremy will be making cinnamon rolls for us again. Holidays and birthdays are great for keeping them in moderation but horrible for my pregnancy cravings.

Jeremy bought Brighton "Where's Spot?" for Christmas. She loves it and insists on reading it at least a thousand times a day. When she lifts the flaps to look for Spot she yells "noooooo" at the top of her lungs. So so cute. I am sure the cuteness will wear off quick.

Speaking of Brighton, we are at my most favorite age for the kiddos so far.  I love 14ish months till the terrible 2's set in.   I love their little faces when they finally figure something out that they have been trying to get for days or week.  I love the party we have every time they do something right.   Brighton thinks we should give her a standing ovation when she picks up a toy.  I love the excitement they have at seeing mommy and daddy.  The cute little sounds they make.  This truly is my favorite age so far.

I don't want to take down the rest of my Christmas decorations because I worked so hard on making them this year but I am ready for order to be restored to my house. I also really don't want to say good bye to our reindeer. Maybe I should come up with some kind of winter mantel.  But my creative juices have up and left me so that probably wont happen. 

The only time I regret getting a white couch is when the kids "help" Jeremy in the garage. Brighton loves to come in covered head to toe in grease and dirt.  She runs right for the couch.... EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.  

Eldon's bed broke. Which is more annoying than anything.  Jeremy can fix it but we aren't sure it will hold up to a wild and crazy boy, we still need it for the baby. We have had plans to build him a new one for quite a while but stuff just keeps coming up. 

I am considering trying to do a 365 project again. I have gotten so horrible about taking pictures of the kids lately that I feel like I need to do something just so I will have a few pictures of the kiddos.  

Maybe you were expecting a little Christmas recap, maybe you will get it sometime around June.  I was actually thinking of posting the pictures of Brighton and Eldon's room this week that I took back when she was oh 5 or 6 months old.  She is only 17 months old now.  

I think that is is for now.  This was a lot of nothing thrown up with a few cute pictures of the kiddos.

Have a wonderful Monday.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Baby #4// 27 Weeks

Top//H&M maternity
Jeans//J Jeans maternity via Thred UP
Boots// Jc Penny's

As I was editing these pictures, I realized I really should have put my makeup on today because my exhaustion is shinning through.  I haven't gotten a decent nights sleep in at least a week now.   I tried diffusing lavender essential oils for a few nights and it didn't seem to help.  If things keep up, I may have to try the sleep blend.  I am going to try a cup of chamomile tea tonight before bed to see if that does anything for me. 

Looking at these pictures bums me out, I can't believe how much of the pink and purple has washed out of my hair since last week.  I really liked it this time, I wish my hair would hold the color better.

This week I discovered that being in the car for 1 1/2 hours is no longer an option.  Tuesday we went and did all of our Christmas shopping so we didn't have to fight with the crowds on Saturday.  I could barely walk Wednesday.  Then Saturday we ended up running down to Jeremy's parents house and I thought Jeremy was going to have to carry me in the house.  Sunday morning was no better.  Thankfully yoga helped but I don't want to experience that pain again.  We are going to take a break for trips.  

Peanut is still a very active little thing.  Last night he/she was up most of the night kicking away.   

I am up 11 pounds. 

I am not feeling very chatty this week, so we will end my update here.   

linking up with The Pleated Poppy

Friday, December 19, 2014

Family time

These verses from Psalm 23:1-3 are bringing me so much peace and comfort tonight...
The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
 He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.

A beautiful reminder and promise in the midst of our current trials.

This week has been one of counting my blessings.  I am really trying to enjoy the kiddos this season.  I am so happy we decided to not make much of this Christmas holiday because it has left me with energy to do crafts, take drives to look at Christmas lights, play games, and watch movies.  God has blessed us so much and by focusing on that, the other things seem to not mater as much right now.

 The Bennett's roll with ice cream cones instead of cocoa to look at lights.  The baby gets a cone, there is no way she is getting ice cream in the car anytime soon.

 A really fun street in town.  My picture didn't do it justice.   Normally I am not one who would decorate my house but if I lived on this street I could totally do their decorations.  Everything was coordinated and nicely hung.  No wonky lights anywhere. 

 We had our first school Christmas program today.   Because Bristol wears a uniform it didn't even cross my mind that she would be able to dress up for this but Tuesday they sent out a letter saying the kiddos could wear dress clothes.  Because it was too late to make a new dress, Jeremy suggested adding a red sash and sparkly tights to her picture dress from this summer.   He is a genius.  Shhh, don't tell him!

Yesterday when I went to pick Bristol up, her teacher was looking very frazzled and overwhelmed by her to-do list for today.   Since Jeremy was going to be home today, I volunteered to come to school with Bristol and help out.  Her teacher was grateful and Bristol was so happy.    As I was sitting with her, it reminded me that I need to make more of an effort to take my kiddos out for some one on one time.  I loved spending time with her today so much that I didn't notice the body aches and pains from standing or trying to sit in pint size chairs till we got home.

I am trying to finish up the little gifts for the kiddos.  This year we wanted to give them more experiences than stuff.   One of the things we came up with, is coupon books.   They were fun to put together.  Hopefully the kiddos love them as much as I do. 

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Baby #4//26 weeks

 Cardigan//Old Navy
Top//H&M maternity
Jeans//Forever 21
Earrings//Charming Charlies

This week has been a hard one.   Life threw us an interesting curve ball and we are still trying to figure out how to deal with it. We know God has a plan and He is going to use this.   So right now we are just taking it day by day, praying for guidance.    And I know I am being cryptic but I am not ready to share the whole story.  When I am, I will. Prayers are appreciated in the meantime.

But because of the stress of last week, my body has been pretty miserable. I am exhausted, my joints are achy, and I am having quite a few braxton hicks.   It doesn't help that Peanut is as low as humanly possible in my belly.   I really don't think he/she could get any lower but I am sure I will be proved wrong and it will happen.  But I do love that he/she loves to hang out and kick all day long.  Its a nice reminder of God's blessings in our life.  

On a positive note, it has been raining on and off for like a week now.  I love it!  I actually got to buy the kiddos rain boots.  Something I have always wanted to do but couldn't justify it when we get like 2 rainy days a year usually.  And I am not sure they even qualify as rainy days. Bristol's school is pretty much one giant puddle so she needed something to keep her feet dry all day.  If this weather stuck around all winter I would be a happy girl.  

Can you believe this is the last week of my 2nd trimester?  Next week we enter the home stretch.   It is so crazy to think that.

linking up with The Pleated Poppy and Because Shanna Said So

Monday, December 15, 2014

Coffee table/Storage ottoman

I am absolutely in love with my coffee table.  I tell Jeremy how much I love it at least once a day.  Throw in the fur place mat, pallet coasters, and copper bucket it makes me so happy.   A while back I pinned this coffee table because I loved the fact that it was functional but still had lots of storage use.  We can always use more storage in here.   Like a whole room would do us good.

The original plan was to do the whole thing out of pallets and put 5 inch casters on it.... then when there wasn't enough wood we were going to do just the top out of pallets but once again there wasn't enough wood so its all new wood.     I used apple cider vinegar and steel wool grade #000 to give it the distressed look.  You definitely need the super fine stuff the breaks apart really easy, the kitchen stuff doesn't work.   I found mine at O'Reilly Auto Parts but we have gotten it at Harbor Freight before.  I ditched the caster idea once I saw how big my coffee table ended up being but if we ever end up with a bigger couch down the road, I would put casters on this thing in a heartbeat.

Having the double side lid was really important to me.  I wanted to be able to get into the storage area without needing to take everything off the top. 

When Jeremy first suggested making the lid completely removable I didn't like the idea at all.   But it makes it really easy to move and if we ever decided to add some form of divider to the inside it will make it much easier.

With the new coffee tables came the need for a new color scheme in the form of throw pillows.   Which makes the curtains look completely out of place but it is what it is.

Total cost for this project was around $80. 

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Baby #4// 25 weeks

 Cardigan//Old Navy
Top//Target Maternity
Earrings// Nickle and Suede

I think it finally clicked this week that we are soon going to have another little one around here.  Brighton is still fighting off RSV and as she was snuggled up on my chest one day, something she hated to do as a baby, all I could think about is how I would have a new little one there soon.  Probably all the time.   And I am excited.  The anticipation has started to kick it.  And it's about time since I am entering my last trimester after Christmas.

Friday I had my 24 week midwife appointment.  I shared with a group of friends how thankful I am that we decided to go the midwife/home birth route this time.   My appointment was so peaceful and natural if that makes sense.   Peanut is currently transverse which explains why I am experiencing quite a bit of lower back, hip, and tail bone pain.  Otherwise, everything looks good.  I am gaining weight, slowly but surely.    The heart beat was 140.  I have one more monthly appointment and then we start the every 2 week schedule.  How did that get here so quickly?

Other than the back pain I am still feeling pretty good.  I am fighting this wonderful head cold still but seem to be on the tail end of it.  Peanut has decided he/she doesn't like coffee again but seems fine with tea.  He/She is also not so found of chocolate or really any sweets.  Except hot chocolate, I definitely need my daily cup of cocoa. 

I figured out the direction I want to go with the bedding.  Jeremy is ecstatic because it involves deer heads.   This is like his dream come true.  Up until this point I hadn't seen anything that was sparking my interest but when I saw this collection I knew it had to be Peanut's bedding.  It is completely different from the other 3's bedding which has all been colorful but this time I am going with a much more neutral palette-- light grey, tan, white, and black accents.   I am also thinking of adding feathers to the wall decorations if Peanut comes out a girl because I am in love with gold dipped feathers right now. 

And now onto bassinets.  We have always used the pack n play with the bassinet attachment but our pnp isn't easy to move.  Since we are planning on doing a home birth we will be home from the get go, I want something that will easily move from room to room.   I came up with the options... okay one complete dream and the other 2 really are options.

Stokke- This is the dream.  It starts out bassinet size and then converts into a crib.   But for $600 it will never happen but it is fun to dream about. Isn't it pretty?
Babyletto-  I really like this one. The contemporary feel to it but it doesn't have wheels and I would really like something we can push around the house.   The price tag is so much better than the Stokke at $129.
Badger Basket- This is the one I am actually going to go with.  Personally I think this is hideous.  But once we take off the canopy, bumpers, and skirt it will be awesome.  I think it will look very similar to the Stokke as soon I am finished with it. At $139 it is more than affordable.  I figure another $15 for fabric and we will be golden.   

And that folks is all I have for tonight.  The sad thing, it took me allllllllll day to right this post.  Brighton does not approve of anything other than being held which made taking pictures and writing impossible.   

Monday, December 8, 2014

Our weekend

This weekend was a hard one.   Jeremy was supposed to have Friday through Sunday off but ended up working over time Friday and Saturday.  The kids were missing him, I was missing him, and not to mention the black plague that has settled on my house.  

After he got home Friday we pretty much had to rush out the door for his work Christmas Party.
My idea of casual.   I was actually surprised that I wasn't all the overly dressed.  Normally I am way overdressed.  It is probably because Jeremy works with a lot of older gentleman and their dress code is a whole lot different than peoples in their twenties.

Saturday me and the kiddos just hung around the house.  We were all grumpy so it was best not to share that with anyone.

Thankfully he was home Sunday but I wasn't feeling all that great again.  I have the head cold that wont leave.    I am now throwing apple cider vinegar at it which is disgusting but seems to be helping.

Sunday ended on a horrible note.  I went to let the doggies in and found that Blondie had run away.  One of the boards on the neighbors side of the fence came down and being the wander that she is, she took off.   I am hoping that we have luck finding her but this is the first time she has ever gotten out over night.   For such a lazy dog she sure does love to run.   I am pretty upset about it as I have had her for 10 years but Bristol is devastated.  Blondie is her pal.  She sleeps with her every night.   This morning when she came in our room to ask why we didn't put her in there, it was hard.  I hated having to explain that she ran away and there isn't much hope for finding her.

So here I sit typing this, constantly looking toward the back door hoping and praying that her little face will be there.  Hopefully she comes home, if not, I hope the people who found her take good care of her.

***update we found her a few hours after I wrote this post.  

Thursday, December 4, 2014


This has been an exhausting week.   About 10:30 on Sunday, right as I was getting ready to go to bed, Brighton woke up having a really hard time breathing.   We tried to get it under control but after about 30 minutes of being awake things weren't getting any better so we took a trip to the ER.   I was thinking croup, they were thinking bronchitis but it turned out to be RSV.   A steroid and breathing treatment later I headed back home around 2am.   During this time Bristol had woken up complaining that her ear hurt really bad, can anyone guess where the Tylenol and ibuprofen were?  In the diaper bag with mommy.   She had a really bad cough all week but nothing else seemed to be bothering her until Monday early morning.   And as I walked back in the door Eldon started barking.   We knew it was coming but I was hoping it would start after his sisters were better.  Not so much.   Monday Jeremy ended up calling in sick because we didn't get to bed until around 3 and then Brighton woke up somewhere around 4 and only wanted daddy.  I also knew that a trip to the quick care clinic was in our future that day.   A few hours later we had one kid with RSV, another with a nasty ear infection, and a third with croup.   Have I mentioned this is the first time all 3 kids have been sick at once.   Normally just as one is getting better another falls. 

Tuesday when Jeremy got back to work he found out he was going to be working overtime Friday and Saturday.  Which means with his drill schedule this month and finals this week, he only gets 1 day off work in the next 2 1/2 weeks.  

Its a lot.  I am already struggling with keeping up and we had both been counting down the days until this semester was over and I could have my better half back but right as school is over drill and work are taking up even more of his time and I know I should be really grateful for the extra money this month and the fact that Jeremy has a job, and I am but I am also just exhausted and ready for some time with my husband. The kiddos are ready for time with him as well.  I would gladly eat top roman and peanut butter and jelly if it meant a few days off. 

So right now, all I can do is pray.  Pray for strength to get me through another tough 3 weeks.  Pray for the ability to deal with the disappointment I am feeling right now. 

I don't even know when we are going to go Christmas shopping for these kiddos of ours. 

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Baby #4// 24 weeks

This is what I wear when my kiddos are sick or what you will frequently find me wearing on weekends when I know I have no where to go.  Yoga tights and a maternity shirt.  Absolutely no make up.  And way over due for a hair cut.   

Peanut is doing great, I assume.  We will find out at my monthly check up Friday.   He/She is kicking the day and night away.  The only thing I could complain about is tailbone soreness which I know would be cured by yoga if only I made time to do it. But otherwise, we are still just chugging along.   It is hard to believe that we are getting so much closer.   The other day Jeremy and I were talking about Eldon's birthday (mid January) and I realized at that point we will be very close to the baby being born.  Maybe then I will start getting things ready.   But for now I am just enjoying being in the middle of this.  On one hand, I can't wait to meet Peanut and find what it is but on the other hand, I am scared to move onto life with 4 kids especially when the 3 I have right now are all sick.   Preparations will make it real. 

So just leave me in my land of somewhat bliss right now. 

Getting into the spirit...

Most people love the holiday season.  Me, it brings lots of anxiety.  I hate how busy the holidays are and it makes me not want to participate.  Because I wanted to do things different this year and give the kids a good holiday season we decided there would be no commitments.  We aren't going anywhere and are taking it day by day.  We have a few things we would like to do, like take the kids up to the snow for a few days and I would love to take them to the zoo while its decorated but right now nothing is set in stone.   It made for a wonderful Thanksgiving.  We actually enjoyed the holiday.  And I am hoping it is the same for Christmas.

But another thing that happened when we removed the stress, I got an itch to start decorating.  Something I rarely want to do.  Usually it is a tree and stockings for us.  Last year I got fancy and bought some garland for the mantel but that is about it.   

The table started all of this...

Jeremy and I each found a really cool table theme that we liked on Pinterest and ended up combining them.  Does the plaid look familiar?  Yes, it is the same fabric my red scarf is made out of.   And the candle holders Jeremy made out of a branch he cut of the neighbors tree that hangs in our yard.  Throw in a few cinnamon scented pine cones, tea lights, and gold sparkly things and we have a table setting I love.  Now I feel like I need Christmas dishes.  Can you say intervention!

I couldn't find the fabric I usually use for my tree skirt anywhere so I improvised with a little leftover plaid.

And then I got this idea that I wanted some kind of pallet sign for the mantel and our little reindeer with his red nose was born.  

And the trees came next.  A little glitter, a few cut up book pages, tulle, scrapbook paper, and a circle bunch later, I love the end results.  The snowflakes were a last minute addition that I feel like tie it all together.  The ones on the wall are me, the ones next to the stockings are all Jeremy. 

Our new Jesse Tree that doesn't have any decorations on it yet because we are running a few days behind because of all the illness going on in the house.   The kids also got in on the crafting and made their own little trees that I love.
Will we every be past the stage of the little people nativity?  I think not.  I love the simplicity of it.  

And that is our decorations.   I love how it all turned out. But most of all, I love how most of it is handmade.  I spent maybe $10 on all the supplies.  Next year my plan it to make coordinating stockings but I want to do it until peanut is born.    

Now I need to get off the computer and keep the kiddos from going stir crazy.  A week off for Thanksgiving and 3 more days off for illness these kiddos are begging to go back to school.   Hopefully it can happen tomorrow. 
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