Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Baby Bump #4:Week 14

Top//Old Navy
Tank and Skirt//Target

I am at the point in my pregnancy where I know I am pregnant, I can see that I am pregnant but I am not feeling pregnant.  My first trimester motion sickness nausea has passed, I am pretty much eating enough to survive, my exhaustion is getting more manageable or I am just used to it now.  So I am feeling pretty normal other than you know the belly bump that is pretty obvious.  I haven't felt the baby move and I don't usually feel them until the 23/24 week mark so that is where I am pregnant and looking it but not feeling it other than the occasional back and hip pain that is controlled by yoga.  I am thankful for it.  Brighton's pregnancy was not an easy one and I am thankful I seem to be going out on a high note with this baby.  I am thankful that I am getting to enjoy my time with the big 3 instead of sitting on the couch wishing I could hang out with them.  I am thankful I have the energy to spend time with Jeremy.  I am thankful that this pregnancy isn't making me feel like I am dying.

We are considering a home birth this time, actually it is pretty much the plan we just need to meet with midwives and decide who is the best for us.   It is pretty crazy that this epidural, hospital birth loving mom is going a different route with this last one but I just don't feel like I can have a stress free birth if I don't.   With Bristol and Eldon, I had 2 amazing births.  My doctor's and nurses listened to me, my epidural worked, when I learned that I pass out if I don't eat right after delivery with the Bristol they made sure to have food in the fridge for me with Eldon.   It was peaceful.  Both times I got my epidural, fell asleep and 2 hours woke up ready to push.  There were a few moments of stress with Eldon when my water broke and they couldn't find his heart beat but otherwise it was peaceful, stress free, and I wouldn't say in enjoyable but I was relaxed and my body could work the way it needed too.

With Brighton I was stressed out from the beginning.  I didn't like my doctor but had no other choice here in town.  I hadn't heard good things about the hospital especially the epidural process.  The general consensus was to just go natural.  So when we walked in that night, I was stressed.  I tried not to be, I prayed but my anxieties took over.  My epidural wasn't placed right and I kept telling the doctor and nurse that over and over and all they could say was I had no clue what I was talking about because I wasn't a doctor.  Also that it was perfectly normal to still be in just as much pain with the epidural as it was with out.    The nurses kept rushing my body even though I knew I wasn't ready.   It wasn't a good experience.  Then when Brighton was born and I question the doctor about something she wanted to do to her, she made me feel horrible and then told me if I wasn't going to responsible they could call cps to appoint someone to do the right thing.  All I wanted was an explanation.    I feel like they intervened when it wasn't need and instead of listening to me as a patient and concerned parent they used scare tactics.

The thought of going back to the hospital still gives me stress.  I am sure I would have a panic attack if I had to do it again.  And while we can drive 2 hours away to go to another hospital it might not be possible.   Brighton was my longest labor at 10 hours with all of its wonderful complications, Bristol was my shortest at 2 and Eldon well his was 4.  So maybe I will have a longer birth this time around but I fully believe the only reason I was in labor as long as I was with Brighton is because I was so stressed out.

So that is where I am.  If you have had a home birth I would love to hear about your experience.  I would love to know where you found your research and what pain "relief" method you went with.

Linking up with The Pleated Poppy and Because Shana Said So

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