Tuesday, July 1, 2014

What I Wore//Baby Weight

Necklace// My mother in law

When I was thinking about writing this post today, I had a very specific thought in my mind.  But now I have several thoughts I am going to cram into one very lengthy post.  At least it wont be crammed with a million pictures like my weekend notes post was. 

I look tired in these photos.  That is because I am.  I am worn out and more so burnt out.  When I imagined what it would be like when Jeremy got back from drill, I was thinking a few hours of me time, a much needed day of Jeremy and me time and maybe a slow pace.  Instead we have been crazy busy and it doesn't look like there is any me time or Jeremy and me time in the future.

White pants have been on my clothing wish list forEVER!   Most probably think I am crazy to mix 3 kids and white pants yep, I am probably crazy, but since over half of my tops are white and I rarely have a problem with those I figure white pants cannot be much different.   When Jeremy came home for lunch he looked at me and said "nice pants, where did they come from?"  Some days I really wish he was oblivious to my shopping habits or easy to fool and I could just say something like "oh, these old things.... I found them in the back of my closet" instead I refocus him with "just remember you said you like how they look, that's enough."

Baby weight.  Every mother has had it.   And I am sure most moms have heard the "it took 9 months to grow the baby, its going to take 9 months to loose the weight".  I get where these people are coming from when they say that but I don't think it is as reassuring as people think.  At least not for me.   When Brighton was 5 months old and I was still adjusting to having that 3rd kid in the house and yet finding time to wake up 5 days a week to get that 5:30 a.m. work out in.  And still not seeing numbers drop on the scale was a slap in the face.  When I was forgoing my favorite sweet treats so I could fit back in my pants, it wasn't comforting.   When I though back to how I busted my butt during my pregnancy because experts say that if you workout during your pregnancy the baby weight comes off easier, I did.  I ran, heck I ran 4 miles the night before I went into labor with Brighton.  I was having contractions through the whole run.  I was hot and sweaty and all I wanted to do was quit but I also knew how much I wanted the baby weight to come off easy for once, so I pushed through.  And guess what, it was lies, all lies.  If anything, I have had to work twice as hard to get this baby weight off and I am still up 10 pounds and we are 11 days away from Brighton's 1st birthday.   I guess what I am trying to say is I am sure the "how 9 months to gain" thing is comforting to some, it is definitely not comforting to the mom who is pushing herself to loose the weight.  It is not comforting to the mom who had to find energy to workout at 39 weeks pregnant when all she wanted to do was cut the baby out of herself.   Because when you are busting your butt for something and not seeing progress you loose faith.  You loose the drive.  Sometimes it sounds better to sit on the couch and have a second smore than to think about sticking with the clean eating.  Of course the first smore wasn't clean eating either.

My ramblings.  Maybe I am the only one that feels this way about the baby weight but that doesn't make my feeling less.  I know there are moms out there who think bad of me because I don't want to look like I just popped a baby out... a year ago.  I know there are women out there who think the only thing that should matter is that I have a baby to hold and they would kill for that, but here is the thing, I don't think less of other moms because they choose to live there lives a certain way.  If you can accept the baby weight or if it isn't a big deal, more power to you.  But for me, it depresses me.  So I do something about it.  I never want my daughters to hear me complaining about my weight or how I look and then not see me doing anything about it.  So instead, I workout because even though I would love to loose those last 10 pounds that remind me I had a baby last year, I don't mind them because I know I am not settling.   I am happy with the way I am looking these days because I fight for it.  I make sure I model an active lifestyle.  If I don't like it, I work to change it.  


  1. LOVE this look. White and pastels are always classic and refreshing!

  2. I just found your blog through The Pleated Poppy. You have a new follower! What an inspiration you are. Seriously 5:30 am workout with 3 kids....I am tired just thinking about it. You've just given me the inspiration to "get healthy and fit" again.

    I lost all of my baby weight (I only have one son) and then have slowly been inching up the scales. not a big deal, but my clothes are getting tighter and I don't want to invest in new clothes!

    I actually think you should concentrate less on working out and more on diet, since I've heard several times that weight loss is 90% diet.

    I think you did VERY well by buying those white pants. They look fantastic, and I don't think you should deny yourself clothes that fit well and make you feel good, especially during the "haven't lost all the weight I want phase".

    Happy to have found you and I will be following along. I hope you find a few moments to yourself or with your man....and if it is any consolation you really do look fantastic at this weight.

    Angie from reasons to dress, fashion, real mom street style & life as a North American mom in Italy.

  3. Love the white jeans!

    My baby is 2 1/2 and I feel like I'm in the worst shape of my life... My weight is where it normally is, but things are just not looking and feeling like I would like them to... And I'm not sure if they ever will!

  4. Chloe is nearly 5. And even though I am 15 pounds less than when I had her, I still have about 40 pounds left to go. (I am not even trying to get back to my original weight. I figure my original weight + 5 pounds per kid is a good goal to have.) But I hear you. I tried it all. I worked out at least 3 times a week up until 36 weeks with Emily, it didn't help. I nursed and pumped like a maniac, it didn't help. I went back to work and was on my feet all day long, it didn't help. I did the Slim Fast diet for 6 months straight with no cheating, I lost 3 pounds. I don't let my daughters hear me complain about my weight or how my clothes fit. I don't want them to think how my clothes fit is the most important thing in life. My goal is to lose 20 pounds between now and the second week in September. It was going well until my sister came into town today and handed me a huge bag of candy. I am going to work harder at cutting back (who is really hungry in this heat anyhow?) and I will pray that 2 and a half hours of dance rehearsal, 5 days a week for the next 4 weeks will take a big amount off my goal.

  5. You look great, love the white jeans! I haven't had kids yet, so I know nothing about baby weight. However, it defiantly scares me. I can't loose 5 lbs, so I could never imagine an amount higher than that! Worst dieter ever over here! ;)

    God bless,
    XO, Claire


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