Sunday, March 2, 2014

100% undecided...

Saturday night, had you asked me, I would have said I was ready to wean Brighton.   There have been a few teething incidents in the last week that have made this experince less than pleasurable.  But more than that, I never really felt like I was a mom who bonds through the whole boob feeding thing.   To me, it is a free form of food, and that is why I do it.   So today, I set out to start weaning.  Like I did with Bristol, and again with Eldon, I decided to cut out a feeding.   And it was nice.  It was nice to not have to rush home to pump after church.  It was nice to not even have to worry about the whole feeding thing.  But then we sat down for our 3:30 and my 100% sure decision seems a little lot less sure.   While she is getting into trouble at least once a day for using me to cut her teeth, I am actually enjoying this breastfeeding experience more than the other two.   I love sitting down with her and getting to be in our own little world for 15 minutes.   She sits there and gives me goofy grins, blows raspberries instead of eats, and mostly growls at me with her new wonderful sound.   Even though it is a crazy time, that has often included her trying to roll over while she eats, it is our time.  And for that, I am reluctant to give it up.   So here I sit, typing this, while she is blowing raspberries in face, rethinking my decision.  I know I want to cut down on feedings but I don't think I am ready to give up our special time.  So there I am.  A decision that was set in stone yesterday, isn't quite so clear cut today, and who knows, maybe I will be back to done tomorrow.

On a totally unrelated note, pray for us please.  We are getting ready to make a few decisions that would be very positive changes for our family but there are also going to be a huge step of faith.  Pray that we will here God's voice, but most of all we will follow His lead.  Even if it sends us down a road we didn't want to travel again.  

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