Tuesday, October 29, 2013

What I wore: Stripes and Marriage

My I got to pee stance.

Necklace//Beads by Cathy

Marriage. I have a heart for marriage. It pains me when I hear from a friend that there is strife in the marriage, because for me, my marriage to Jeremy is a comfort. It is a feeling of home, a feeling of acceptance, and my support system. I don’t want to say it's easy and effortless, but sometimes it feels that way. But when you really look deeper it isn't effortless because there is a constant labor of passion to do things for each other that strengthen our bond. For me, marriage is easy, parenting is where I struggle.  Seriously struggle.  Some of the best advice we every received was from my father in law during our premarital counseling. He said that we should never talk bad about one another to anyone else because it is opening the door for problems. And that really stuck with me. It made sense, and to this day, I try to live that. I can also remember when I was working at a preschool during our time in Wyoming, we were newlyweds of almost 4 months, every morning when the moms were dropping off their kids, they would sit there and bitch about their husbands. Right in front of their kids and me, a complete stranger. One of the other teachers must have seen my shocked expression and commented “Once the newlywed phase wears off, you will have something to complain about too.” Um, NO! I never wanted to be like that, what if one of their husbands walked in and heard all the awful things they had to say about him. I would assume they would be pretty shook up, I know I would be if it was me. Don’t take this to mean I never think unkind thoughts about Jeremy because that isn't the truth. There are plenty of times I want to yell and scream and say mean stuff. But what would that help. I know for me, if he did that to me, I would have a hard time forgetting the hurt, but most of all, I would have a hard time forgiving. I know God calls us to forgive. But sometimes, it is hard. Sometimes I wake up saying to the Lord, today, I am trying to forgive. I am not there yet, but I know with your help and your help alone, that I will get there. That one day, I will wake up and realize, I have lost that grudge by God’s strength alone. I never want to be that way with Jeremy.  So here I am, thinking about how in less than 2 weeks Jeremy and I will have been married for 8 years. 8 years! That is craziness. In that time we have had highs, lows, major stresses, and scares.  Over the last 2 years we have faced a lot of hard times together.  We have laughed, we have cried, but through it all, I know that I couldn't do it without Jeremy. He is the one who tells me I need to take something to God when I am being particularly stubborn.  He is the one who will come home from work, read the distress in my expression, and send me to our room to relax while he takes over dinner and kid duty. He is the one who loves me unselfishly. He is an amazing man who is always quick to model God’s love. And that makes it easy to love him, to do this crazy life together. Because I know when I give to him unselfishly, when I put him before my own needs, he will give right back to me. It may not be right at that moment but it will come. For that I am thankful. I am thankful for a God who loves me so much, who knows me so well, that He gave me Jeremy. That He gave me a heart for marriage. Because the only reason our marriage is easy and effortless is because we both put God first. We both know that without God, our marriage would be nothing. It would be a huge mess.

Love each other with genuine affection, take delight in honoring each other.
Romans 12:10

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.
Ephesians 4:2-3

Let no one split apart what God has joined.
Mark 10:9

linking up with
pleated poppy

1 comment :

  1. Okay, first, cute outfit! Love the stripes. And I love your hair! I actually had a dream the other night about growing out my hair. I've been craving long hair lately! Your waves are gorgeous.

    And I love this post. It makes my heart happy to hear from another wife how much she values her husband and her marriage. It makes me so sad to hear women bad mouthing their husbands. We are to be their #1 supporter. I don't always love everything my husband says or does, but I don't need to blab about it to everyone. We've gone through plenty of ups and downs in the last 11 years, we've gotten counseling, been mentored, been a part of marriage related small groups... Whenever we have a problem, we seek help. Help that directs us to the One that knows all the answers. Marriage takes work, but it's worth it.


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