Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Ending 2012 and starting 2013

Does anyone want to talk about how horrible I have been at blogging over the last 2 months?  Thankfully with the holidays past us we can now relax.    And what a wonderful thing it is to relax!

I decided to reflect on my goals from 2012:

  • This year, I just want to get back to exercising 4-5 days a week.  I would love to run at least 2 days a week.- I did really well at this.  And I am happy to say I achived my ideal weight!    And it is awesome. 
  • I am going to restart 365.  I started last year in March or April, I cant remember when and I am to lazy to dig through the blog right now to figure out which one it was.  -this was kind of hit and miss.  Some months I did awesome other months I did horrible.  Like for instance December, it was a horrible month picture wise.  I haven't even started putting together the months pictures but I know it is not good.  
  • I want to redo the kids room and make a quilt.-  I am still in the process of this.   We finally got Bristol's room painted and now each kid has their own room.  But I still need to do wall decorations and we want to move Bristol into a bigger bed.  The quilt is still in the works but I don't know how soon it will happen.
  • My biggest goal is to read the bible in a year-   I quit this goal.  I was doing a really good job but I felt like I was just reading to read and not actually getting anything out of it.  So I went back to reading at my own pace. 
  • Memorize scripture- MISERABLE FAILURE.  But I am going to try to do it again.  
So now that I have given you a goal update and probably lost most of my readers I will sharing some interesting but very exciting news.  There is a reason for my horrible failure at blogging these last 2 months, why I also haven't worked out in 2 months, and why 365 didn't go very well last month.   

Tomorrow I will be 12 weeks pregnant.  

 That is right folks 12 weeks.  After the miscarriages that I wrote about here and here, I was shocked to get the news.  We had decided to wait 6 months before we even started trying again... but that was even a big IF at that point.   I didn't think I could go through it again.   I found out I was pregnant the day before our 7 year anniversary.  I wasn't happy at all.  I was really upset in fact.  Mad that it was happening again.  Mad the God let it happen again.   I didn't want to deal with all of it again.  Especially over the holidays.  Right before Thanksgiving we had our first ultrasound and there was no baby yet.  Considering I had no idea how far along I was we were told not to freak out but all I could thing about was the 2 other times that there was no baby.  I was still mad.   I didn't want to even think about the baby.  On December 5th we went back for our 2nd ultrasound.   There was a heart beat.  A heartbeat!   That was more than the last 2 times.  At this point I was 8 weeks along.  I had lost the other 2 babies between 4.5 and 6 weeks.   And then we went back again December 18th and there it was again, the heartbeat.    Finally I felt like I was actually going to have a baby.   We started tell our family.   I wasn't really sure when I was going to make the news public but my belly is getting pretty hard to hide so it is time. And I am feeling a lot more confident.  Through all of this I had my amazing mom friends supporting me.    They were excited for that positive pregnancy test when I couldn't be.  They encouraged me.  They understood exactly how scared I was each time we have gone for an ultrasound.   They are amazing.    

So here I am 12 weeks pregnant and finally getting excited.  In 6 short months we will welcome our new bundle into the world.    I have to say I am slightly nervous, okay who am I kidding I am really nervous about having 3 kids but God knew exactly what he was doing.  He knows why it wasn't the right time the first 2 times.  He knows exactly why this baby stuck.   So with that lets talk about my 2013 goals.
  • I really just want want to enjoy this pregnancy.   I am not the type of person who enjoys pregnancy but I want to this time.  Because it is a miracle and I wasn't sure I wasn't I was going to experience again.   Although I have been pregnant every month since June.  So when I have this baby I will have been pregnant for 13 months.
  • I want to spend more time with God.   Since we haven't found a church still, I feel it is really important that this be a priority.    
  • I want to make friends here.  I am a horrible friend maker and I need to step out of my comfort zone. It has a lot to do with being hurt in the past by people I thought were my friends but I also have some pretty amazing friends.  So not everyone will hurt me.  And even if they do they are only human.  I am sure I have hurt people along the way too.
  • I would love to keep working out 4-5 days a weeks but right now I have to listen to my body.  My doctor told me I had to take it easy as soon as we found out I was pregnant so that meant no running or Barre3.   But I have been cleared to start exercising again and I plan to do so.
  • I want to enjoy this stage of my kids lives.   I don't want to think well once the get to 4 and 5 things will be better because honestly I just wanted to survive Bristol's terrible 2's but 3 has brought on a whole new world of I just want survive!    So I want to actually enjoy each season of life.  Find contentment in it.   
  • I am either going to do a 365 project or a 52 project picture project again.  I am leaning toward the 365 because I want to see the baby change through the days but the 52 project might be a little easier.  I know for sure if I do the 365 it will be relaxed and not very strict because lets face it I am not that good at getting a picture every day.  
I think that is all I have for you today.  I will post Christmas pictures soon.  

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