Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Sty, shin splints, birthdays...pretty much everything!

I have a sty that is driving me completely bonkers.  Its been there since Sunday.   Probably would have been gone by now if I hadn't insisted on wearing makeup and contacts to church.  

We tried out yet another new church this weekend.   This one is near my in laws house.  I really liked it.  We will definitely be going back next time we are down there on a Sunday.

I have shin splints in my left leg.  SO NOT FUN.  I am pretty sure it is because I have been wearing me left shoe a little, well a lot looser because of this. It happened when we brought the treadmill into the house.  I never remember to wear proper shoes when helping Jeremy.

So I took today off from running but I plan resume tomorrow.  I am addicted to running.  I am not very good and on the slow side but it relieves a lot of my stress.  It gives me time to sing my heart out to praise songs, very loudly might I add.  

We are trying to eat clean for all of our meals.  Mostly because Jeremy has always had a hard time with meat since his surgery but in the last year it has gotten worse.  And I am really starting to have a hard time with dairy products.  So instead of taking 5 or 6 enzymes a meal we decided to just cleanse for a little while.  Truthfully I don't really plan to go back to cooking with processed foods and meats.  Not that we ate very many before.  But I will enjoy them when other people cook for me.  I will also make up excuses for why we need to visit the Texas Roadhouse and I am sure Jeremy will hold me to my promise of Lucille's BBQ one of these days.

I made this last night and it was super yummy.  It is something I will definitely be making again.

Bristol helped us with the dinner last night.  It was fun to incorporate her.  She put all the chopped veggies into the pan for us.

After dinner she asked if we could go get ice cream. Since the kiddos have been really well behaved lately we agreed on the way there Bristol decided to try her hand at backseat driving

Bristol: Daddy ice cream right there, right there! 
Jeremy: Are you sure?
She definitely knows where Baskin Robbins is located.

I spilled coffee on my computer last week.  Thankfully Jeremy is a wonderful computer doctor.  I now have a new keyboard.  It was pretty depressing looking at this for a few days.

We save a lot of money because my hubby is so mechanically inclined. He can pretty much fix anything it is awesome.   Well except the bathroom scale.  Unfortunately there is no helping it.  Which is a good and bad thing. Bad because I like to weight myself once a week to see where I am at.  Good because realistically I weight myself every morning which is unhealthy.  I am not sure if we will replace it.

My birthday is this weekend.  I am super excited.  I still can't believe I will be 26.  Not because I think that its old but because it seems like I was just celebrating my 21st birthday.  Honestly I will never get tired of my birthday. It doesn't bother me to get older.  There is nothing I can do to change the fact so I will embrace it.

Of course I would like to ignore the fact that Bristol will be 3 in 9 days.  9 DAYS PEOPLE!

Its also crazy to think that a year ago, well in 2 days, we left Colorado Springs to move back to California.  I can't believe we have been here for almost a year already.   INSANE.  Yep I am really into caps lock today.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Peacefull Hurt

I didn't want to write about this, ever.

But I feel like I had to write about this.

Lets start with a little back story.

In March Jeremy and I decided we would like to expand our family.  Which may come as a shock to most because we, mostly me, swore up and down that there would be no more babies coming out of our house.  And that was true for me for a long time.  When your first 2 are 16 months apart it is a lot of work.  But totally worth it because of how close they are.   We prayed about it and felt it was meant to happen.  So in May we went ahead with trying.

July 20th I got my first could be positive pregnancy test.   I proceed to take 3 more over the next 4 days and finally bought the digital one.

We were excited.  Nervous.  Feeling a little crazy.  Nervous.  We told the kiddos.  Bristol kept pointing to my belly "Baby in there!" then she would lift up her shirt and point to her belly "Baby in Bristol's belly".  It was super sweet.  I knew she would have no problems with being a big sister again because she loves her baby cousin Daphne.

I didn't want to tell anyone until at least the first ultrasound but we were trying to get away with not telling anyone until I hit that magic 13 week mark. I know I have talked about this before but I get more and more scared of complications with every pregnancy.   I was scared until the day I got to hold Eldon in my arms.   But the funny thing is with Bristol I had no doubts.  I bled in my first trimester with her and wasn't worried.  Maybe because she always let be know she was perfectly fine by kicking my ribs.  Or maybe its because I didn't have a whole lot of mom friends back then.  I didn't realize the reality of miscarriages, birth defects, still births, and so forth.  I was in the blissful unknown.  I wish I was still there.

August 2nd, I woke up bleeding.  Heavily bleeding.   I was slightly worried but I didn't have any pain so I wasn't freaking out yet.   I figured it was the same thing that happened with Bristol.   I started getting ready for Hilary's visit.   Then I started having a dull ache in my ovary.  It started to worry me.   I posted on my mom board.  They all told me I needed to call the doctor.  So I did.   My appointment was set for 1.   I told Hilary.   She had no clue I was pregnant but I needed her to get her faster so she could watch the kiddos while me and Jeremy went to the doctor.   I wasn't sure what to do about getting a hold of Jeremy.   He works out of phone reception but I can call the secretary's and they will radio up to him for me.  But I waited a little bit.  Finally at 10am I couldn't handle it any longer.  I needed my husband.   I was praying this whole time. I had a peace but I still needed to hear Jeremy say everything was going to work out.   He rushed down the hill.

When we finally did the ultrasound, there was no sac to be seen..   Which being that I was at the end of my 5th week it should have show a sac.  The doctor told us that my history didn't support a miscarriage but that it was possible so he order blood work to see what my HCG levels were doing.   He said is was possible that I was earlier that I thought.  I held onto that.

I still had this amazing peace.  I was praying constantly and I felt protected.  I knew there was nothing I could do at this point.  This baby was in God's hand.  I could beg, plead, promise things and it wouldn't change anything.  If God decided the baby needed to be in heaven more that it needed to be in my arms that was meant to be.   Jeremy on the other hand was having a harder time.   I understood that.  Just like he understood my peace.

It always amazes me how we work together.  We always complement each other in that way.   I am the strong one holding on to God's promises when I need to be and then we switch roles and he is the strong one.   But we always have God right there with us.

It was a long weekend waiting for the 2nd blood draw and the results.  Monday we asked my mother in law Cathy to come up and take care of the kids.  Hilary had to go back to Vegas because Daphne had a doctors appointment and since they are leaving for Italy shortly there was no way to reschedule it.   Jeremy went to work that morning.   He didn't want to stay home and think about it constantly.  But at this point he was at peace as well.  Cathy as usual was a huge support to me.  She always knows just what I need to hear.

We went back to the doctors.  They put us in the regular room.  I kind of knew what to expect at this point. The doctor came in and confirmed it.  I miscarried.   But you know what, I was still at peace. Because our baby is in heaven.  It will never have to experience the hurts of this world.   It will always have a peaceful life.

When this all first started I wasn't sure I wanted to keep trying.   I wasn't sure if I could experience this again.

But you know what, God got me through this.   He gave me a peace that couldn't be diminished.  So yes we are still open to having more kids but all in God's time.   When its right he will give us another positive pregnancy test.  He will give me a peace that it is meant to be.

I know people probably are reading this and wondering why we only let 2 family members know what was going on.  Well its because I didn't want to talk about it.  It was a time of praying.   Jeremy and I had to get through it with God's guidance. But I felt I needed to write about it.  We don't want to talk about it.  I have no desire for people to ask me if I am pregnant.  I don't want sympathy.  I just needed to write about it.

I don't want you to think I don't struggle with this because I do.  The other day I was at Costco and there was a family there.  They had 2 toddlers and the mom was very pregnant.  My heart ached.  That was supposed to be me.   That was supposed to be our family.  I told Jeremy it was hard.   We prayed and I had my peace back.  I stopped doubting, I remembered that my baby is in a far better place.   I keep wanting to say he is in a far better place.  I don't know why I think it was a boy, I just do.

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.  And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.  Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worth of praise.  Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me- everything you heard from and saw me doing.  Then the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:6-9

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Gem Turquoise

Can you believe it, I finished another project on my list.  I mentioned in this post about the entry way table that I had 2 more painting projects to do.  Well now only one is left but it will be a while before its done.  Mostly because the project is painting Bristol's big girl room.   Since we don't have a matress, dresser, or bedding for her big girl room yet, I don't need to rush into it.   And currently Eldon's crib is in there so that he  can sleep in in the morning.

So lets take a look back to what the living room looked like before I redid the desk/tv stand.
I actually did 2 things.  The first is the curtains.

When I made them the first time I cut them wrong.  So they were the perfect length but not the right width.  So I have been browsing sites for new curtains.  Once again I realize I have horribly expensive taste.  So instead I decided to try and fix my current ones.  I decided flip them 90 degrees and then add extra fabric.
I absolutely LOVE THEM!   I think it made them blend with the room a lot better.  They make me happy now.

And the desk.  I love it too.  It is beautiful.  A lot of work went into it and it still needs hardware and I would like to turn the middle drawer into a shelf for the dvd player but it is beautiful.  The color is Behr Gem Turquoise    LOVE IT!

And don't the curtains look good with it?  I think so.   

I would still like to clean up the mantel area.  Maybe take down the Happy Birthday sign.  But then again it might stay up since it annoys Jeremy.   Also I need to add some sort of blue pillows to the couch to tie everything together.  But for now I am happy.  

One day I will have a huge white sectional.  Yes I said white.  My dream is that it will be completely washable.   

So what do you think, does it look better?

Here is a side by side for you.

Hopefully I will be adding a wood chest for a coffee table soon.  

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Sherman Pass

Yesterday we went for a drive.  We were feeling trapped in the house after only being home for 4 days.   But I have to say, I almost didn't want to go.  Mostly because the kids have been so horrible in the car lately.  But Jeremy told them we were going to look at trees, something we never see here in the desert.   So off we went, armed with all of our kid friendly dvd's.

This is the route we took.  Instead of starting toward Lake Isabella we went toward Kennedy Meadows which is north on 395 and you get off at Nine Mile.  It was a beautiful drive once we got up the mountain.

Beautiful rain clouds

"Window down please!"

Out the sun roof

"Mommy look at the cows!!!!"
I should have taken a picture of the temperature before we left, it read 110 degrees.   

As soon as we dropped in Kennedy Meadows is starting raining.  We all love the rain.  It makes up happy. The temperature started dropping again.

Look at all the rain drops!

Ollee Bear was happy to be along for the ride.

The happy car goers. 

At this point we decided to just keep on going to Kernville/Lake Isabella.  

Did I mention we were all wearing shorts and tank tops?

Daddy picked up pine cones for the kiddos.

Jeremy taking a picture of me taking pictures.

We found the icy sign funny

Random cool tree

Me taking pictures of Jeremy taking pictures

Heading back down the other side of the hill towards the Kern River.

Random cool old school post office

Bristol demonstrating how she rolls down the window

Eldon playing peek a boo while we are waiting for daddy to come out of the store with our sandwiches for dinner.

All in all it was an amazing day.   It was nice to relax and take a drive.  We used to do this all the time when we lived in Wyoming.   

Also, the kids did amazing.  About 5 miles from home they started to break down we were in the car for 6 hours so it was understandable!  

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