Sunday, March 4, 2012

sadness

Its something I deal with a lot.  I am prone to depression and if I don't fight it, it takes over.  I know the feeling.  Where my body wants to get up and do stuff and my mind fights and says no.  Its a feeling I can handle because I know it will pass.  But right now my whole body is sad.  I have never felt anything like this before.  Any time I stop doing whatever it is I am doing I get weary and sad.  I start crying.   I hate this feeling.  I hate what is causing it.  I hate that yesterday my life changed forever. I hate that the lives of my family changed forever.  I hate that a families life was forever changed.  I hate it.  I wish things could be different. I wish I could go back to that Saturday when this change started.  I wish.

Today at church the sermon was about Trials. We are facing a huge trial right now.   The verses the pastor used were James 1:2-12


 2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
 5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. 6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.
 9 Believers who are poor have something to boast about, for God has honored them. 10 And those who are rich should boast that God has humbled them. They will fade away like a little flower in the field. 11 The hot sun rises and the grass withers; the little flower droops and falls, and its beauty fades away. In the same way, the rich will fade away with all of their achievements.
 12 God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

This sermon gave me hope.  It doesn't take away the sadness or weariness.  Only God, prayer, and time can do that.   



1 comment :

  1. Love you mama! I'm always here to chat! Xoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete

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