Saturday, July 2, 2011

What do you want to do?

That's what Jeremy asked me on the way to church tonight.    I had a minor break down today.   It's really nothing new.   I have been having a really hard time lately.   I feel like I am lost inside and all I am is a mom.  My day's revolve around getting the kids fed, bathed, making sure they have activities to do, running errands for them, and making sure they have a clean house to play in.  Well, that's a lie I really slack on keeping my house clean.    But anyways back to my point, I am drowning in being a mom.   Don't misconstrue what I am saying.... I LOVE my kids very very much, I just don't get fulfillment in taking care of them all day.    I never thought I would be this person.  I always thought I would work outside the home and come home a relaxed, happy, and rejuvenated mom so that I could give the kids my best ME.   But instead I am an anxious, grumpy, and crazy mom.   Also don't think I am going to hurt my kids because TRUST me on this one I would never hurt either of them.   I just having a hard time with being a full time mommy!

Anyways toady my wonderful amazing husband kicked me out of the house, with a purpose: book, pedicure and lunch!  I loved my book and pedicure but I wasn't to found of eating out alone.   I came home and was rejuvenated.   I played with Eldon and Bristol and truly enjoyed it!  

So, what do I want to do?  If I could do anything right now, I would go back to school full time.  I really have a desire to be marriage and family therapist!   Unfortunately, its just not going to happen in the near future.  But when it does it will be worth it.

So the morale to this blog posting is, I just needed to share and since my blog is my free therapy, I had to share it here!

I hope everyone has a great 4th of July!

my beautiful toes!

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